Why is it, on a night when you know you are tired, that you know you have to get up early the next morning; this is the night that your mind seems to think it is time to conjure up stupid ideas, and plans, and to think of stupid things that you really don’t care about? Or is this just me?
I wanted to go to sleep so badly last night, but of course I just had to watch a show while I lay in bed fighting my eyelids not to drop. When the show was over I decided it was time to close the peepers and catch some z’s. Right, not likely now; now I begin to think about what happened yesterday. What I don’t want to do today and what I want for the New Year. What the crap! I don’t care right now, I want to sleep damn it. I tell myself to shut up, I beg myself to shut up, I say “shhhh just sleep now”. I try to soothe myself like I am a baby. Nothing, nope, I just roll around, and move the blankets, I’m hot, ok no now three minutes later I’m cold; maybe without the pillow, nah I want the pillow.
Finally, sweet Jesus I somehow fell asleep. Just in time for Oscar to call me and tell me he was almost home from his hockey game (keep in mind it is now 12:30, I work tomorrow and I am the type that needs sleep). I hang up the phone and hover between kind of asleep and kind of awake; Oscar comes in, after the dogs have their bark and freak out because they heard a noise episode; after which I tried to ignore but hello! Oscar comes up to our room to let me know he’s home (I think I have a clue!). Then he goes down stairs to do some computer stuff and watch his coveted sports high lights. I thrash and toss, and then my mind begins to wander again, and I scream inside, all I want is a good deep sleep damn it! That is all that I ask!
Oscar finally comes to bed about an hour later, his routine is to turn our bedroom t.v. on and re-watch all of the amazing footage and news from the days sporting events as he falls asleep. I immediately threw my pillow over my head so that he got the hint that I wasn’t asleep yet. So he was a sweetie and shut the t.v. off and got into bed. He apologized for waking me up, which I said was ok, because most of the time I do just go back to sleep but apparently last night just wasn’t my night. He then promptly begins snoring, which of course makes me madder than ever, I am laying here wide awake, he hit the pillow and is out for the count; oh, and by the way he is off tomorrow. I finally hear our clock hit 2:00 am, and think to myself, oh goodie, it’s two and I am still awake.
I woke up this morning, after hitting snooze two times (and Oscar didn’t move either time the alarm went off). I made it through the day barely, not to mention I just generally felt like I was hit by a truck.