Do I have to?????

I dont want to work anymore....well I want to work, just not the current job I have. I want to be a creator, a photographer, a designer; really anything that uses the creative juices are the ones I want. I really think I am going to take a photography course, do some fun stuff do some family stuff and see what people think. I honestly love photography I could watch a professional do their thing for hours, not to mention looking at the amazing work that comes out after all the creativity. You should see the stuff I take pictures of, Oscar things I'm weird when I agree to go to the golf course with him and while he's golfing Im taking pictures of a flower, or the landscape, or I set up a shot of him putting or really anything that catches my eye. I erase all the nonsence later, because no one is going to look at it other than me, but I loooooove taking pictures, and if I could do it for "real" would be awesome. Now, to find some money to take this course with is my problemo. I of course havent worked all summer because I have had something like three more seizures and my doctor took me off work; oh I tell ya life is grand for me. Seizures....then a kidney infection that I thought was going to kill me, then another seizure, more medication. I look like the drug queen when you see what I get to take everyday; but enough about me. Money......hmmm any ideas??

Here I Am!!!

I could tell you that I took the summer off, but then I would be totally lying. So we will go with that, I took the summer off, of everything really....no work, no blog. I guess you could say I have been totally useless, well to some extent. I am currently growing a human, so I have been "working". I was reminded about blogging this weekend by a two strangers...."stranger danger, stranger danger!" Well I haven't seen them in forever and a day, so I am teasingly calling them strangers. None of us has changed, other then I have a basketball in my shirt and ole Duff is trying to catch up to me......Stacy really THREE pieces of dessert?? Oh well it helped soak up some of those drinks hey buddy? This past weekend was by little cuz's wedding, it was very nice, but the best part of it is seeing family and friends that you don't get to see often....like my strangers I mentioned in the above paragraph. Why I am writing a paragraph about seeing family I really don't know because the ones that live far away...its nice, and I will be happy to keep it that way. You know family is one of those things you keep hidden at the back of a shelf and you only pull out for "special occasions" and you shove 'em right back into the the dark corner of that shelf when its all said and done. Now don't get me wrong, not all of the family has to be shoved away; just the weirdos, and I have to say, some families have way more of them than others. Then there are the ones that seem normal, you cant really place your finger on why you have them shoved away in the darkest space at the back of your cluttered closet......then they open their mouth and it all comes racing back. Oh ya, I had some of that this past weekend. Nuff said really. I just want to note here, that Somerlee's camera has many random pictures on it....and I didn't do it...well not all of it. I only did a few fun ones and then someone saw me having fun.....that is all I will say. I hope to see my strangers again soon. Please enjoy my picture of Stacy very much enjoying his 3rd piece of dessert, which he spread all over the table. Yes he is special, but we love him anyway.

Crazy Canucks and our love of the sport

It’s pretty funny how passionate people get about their hockey, and I must admit I fit into this mold. This mostly means us crazy canucks but I know there are some passionate Americans as well but I am not one of those people I am a proud and ardent Canadian. We Canadians have our one most cherished favourite team, and we also have our one most despised hockey team. Now when someone else put our beloved team down, we get very defensive, as if that individual just cut down our brother or best friend. I try not to get to upset over the everyday jibber jabber, like all the crap getting thrown at me right now because people are highly jealous that my beloved team is currently wiping the ice with the Pittsburgh Penguins. I let them have their five minutes on game day to tell me how the Penguins are going to show up and kick the Wings, blaa blaa blaa. So of course the next day….for example today, I came into work with a smile on my face and then proceed to ask the certain individuals….not naming names but today it was Kevin and Chris, I asked them what it was that they were talking out of their “behinds” about yesterday. I enjoy when the smart mouths have to eat it the next day, sweet revenge. When we lose and people like to rub it in, I love to not give them the satisfaction, I simply smile and say "oh well" nothing bothers a guy worse than that, ahhhh. For dirty hockey talk come play off time anything is legal, Canadians fight over hockey almost the way that the Europeans are over footy; ALMOST. Oh, and my highly despised hockey team is my loving husbands favourite team, things get interesting in our house. In fact, right now he is cheering for the Penguins, so you can imagine some of the spurs we are giving each other lately. I enjoy watching my Wings play hockey anytime and Oscar enjoys watching any hockey, he is a Canadian guy, he lives it, breaths it, he would eat it if he could. However when his Oilers are playing on TV I would rather go have my fingernails pulled out one by one (ok not quite that bad, but I hate watching them play). So to wrap today up all I have to say is GO WINGS GO, and if you don’t agree….you can go eat dirt, and the odd worm.

my thoughts on movies....

You know when you go to a movie and you expect this great movie and then you leave feeling like you have had the biggest let down of your life? You feel as if you wasted $10.00 on your ticket? Well last night I went to the new Indiana Jones movie (and just for your knowledge, not because I wanted to) and don’t worry I didn’t go in expecting some amazing movie. I went in expecting a dorky movie and that is exactly what I got. I suggest when anyone goes to a movie you should go in expecting a mediocre movie (even if deep inside you hope the chosen movie will be amazing), just so that if it is a great movie you can leave with a big grin on your face; and if it is a crappy movie you can leave a little less disappointed. See I am quite excited to go see the Sex and the City movie, but I am not letting myself get swept up in the commercials, because for all I know those are the only good tidbits of the movie at all. I don’t want to leave there thinking that those girls should have left their cosmos and sex stories retired. So I am going in really expecting nothing but a bunch of fluff (which should be just about right because honestly even the biggest die hard Sex fan knows that that is really all that show is in the long run). So the next time you go to a movie and come out disappointed I don’t want to hear the grumbles about how you expected so much more. The only reason you are disappointed is you own fault, you expected too much from Hollywood……honestly think about it, you expected too much from the home of silicone and whackos.

my perfect vision

I have a dream, nay a vision. Of the perfect kitchen to ever exist on this planet, but don’t you know that one thing stands in my way….Money. My honey made me proud by buying a lottery ticket yesterday, in hopes of building me my dream kitchen, and bathroom and anything else I can think of. Back to the kitchen though, it’s rough for Oscar because I went to school for interior design, so my brain is constantly turning with new colours and ideas for our home, inside and out. The kitchen however is on my mind 24 hours a day 7 days a week. I have drafted, oh, I will say about 5 different layouts for my kitchen. They have the same basic plan, but everyday I think of something different or better. Oh when I get my kitchen make over (someday over the rainbow in years I don’t even want to count) I want to make a royal mess of my main floor. When I go remodel I go all out or don’t go at all. I am ripping out walls and putting in beautiful floors, dark cabinets, stone counter tops as far as the eye can see, an island the size of Hawaii. New appliances of course and lovely glass tile backsplash….I could keep going but I would hate to bore those of you that find reconstruction and design rather boring. I also have to say that if you find that boring then you must be dead, how can you find that stuff boring?! Crazies.

smash the alarm!

Who honestly likes to wake up an hour earlier than they are used to? Not me, I will admit that right now. It’s really hard especially after having three months in bed and waking up whenever I wanted to. Now I have to get up extra early and be ready in time for my dear man to drive me to work; an hour early no less! Oh this is because when you have a seizure the docs think it is fun to punish you by taking away your license. Now don’t get me wrong if you have seizures in the middle of the day for no reason it is a good idea to remove that individual from the roads, because hello….hazard. I am not a hazard, my medication was not strong enough in my system anymore and I have my seizures IN MY SLEEP! Yes, in my sleep, if I didn’t live with someone I probably wouldn’t be aware that I have had any seizures….I’m sure I would eventually figure it out, bitten tongue no idea where I am or who I am for a few hours; but still. I am only willing to do this wake up early crap for so long, and I’m already getting really tired of it.

seizure fun

So I had another seizure, I was going through my pregnancy thinking everything was ok on that front at least, and it sure as a hell isn’t ok there. My medication is being metabolized a lot quicker than normal and I have a heck of a lot more blood in my system; so now I am so freaked and worried over having to take more medication and having to have my levels checked. I am freaking out about what my medications could do to my child even. Tell you what, the internet is a scary place when you want to find information, I am finding out that I could possibly give my baby a cleft palate and if I’m not taking enough folic acid I could cause the poor thing spina bifida. What was I thinking, imagining that I could have a child while on my seizure medication? My Neurologist put me on this kind and told me it was the best one if I planned on having a family, but I feel as if I really shouldn’t be allowed to have kids; I am screwed up, my health isn’t really all there, so why would I play Russian roulette with a life? I should not have even thought about having a family. Maybe I should have let my husband move on and have a healthy family with someone else, because who knows if our family will be healthy? I can only hope that the only “problems” my children have are family traits you know, like goofy sense of humour, funny ears and the weirdness required to want to stand between two goalie posts…..that sort of thing.

Let me tell you what, I have had one stressful year and a half, I just want it to calm down and go with the flow…..I need my life off I think.